Lesson   1:                                                                

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.                                          

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.           

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.      

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.                                                                  

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800  and leaves.    

The woman wraps back up  in the towel and goes back upstairs.              

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'          

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.                        

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'                                                                      

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.                                                      

Lesson  2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.                                           

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.       

The priest nearly had an accident.                                       

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.       

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'                               

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.                                                         
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'                   

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'              

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.     

On his arrival at the church, the priest   rushed to look up Psalm 129.   
  It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'           

Moral of the story:                                                      
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.                                                              


Lesson   3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.                                

They rub it and a Genie comes out.                                       
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'                    
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the          
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'              
Puff!  She's gone.                                                         

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the   beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'                   
Puff!  He's gone.                                                          

'OK, you're up,'  the Genie says to the manager.                          
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'     

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

                             
Lesson  4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.                   

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'                                                         
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'                                     

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.                  

Moral of the story:                                                      
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.                                                                       

Lesson   5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.                                       

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'                                  
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'                                           

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.                   

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.                                                                   
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.                                                          
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.       

Moral of the story:                                                      
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Life is a journey, we are stuck in our ways, we try to change, we try to make a living, slaved to needs and wants, bounded by beliefs, coloured by our perceptions, handicapped by traditions, trapped by the inner desire for freedom and longingness.....

Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony this life...
Try to make ends meet , you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down...
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet, yeah.

No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould , I am here in my mould.
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mould , no,no,no,no,no,no,no

Have you ever been down?

Well I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognise the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now.

No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould , I am here in my mould.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mould, no,no,no,no,no,no,no

Have you ever been down?
I can change, I can change...

Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony this life...
Try to make ends meet , you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been found...
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet, yeah

You know I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould, I am here in my mould.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next.
I can't change my mould, no,no,no,no,no,no,no

We've got ya sex and violence melody and silence
(Have you ever been down)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)